


Couples Sext For The First Time

by addendum



Series: The First Rule of Buzzfeed: Always Put Shane and Ryan in the Thumbnail [1]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Sexting, ryan getting easily flustered
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 04:51:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13756704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addendum/pseuds/addendum
Summary: Shane and Ryan get roped into Buzzfeed’s latest couple-centric video.





	Couples Sext For The First Time

**Author's Note:**

> I’m working on a longer shane/ryan fic but I wanted to write this cute little thing in the mean time. Let me know what you think!

Working at Buzzfeed was pretty weird sometimes, but Ryan wasn’t necessarily complaining. He and Shane were on their periodical two week break from Unsolved, which meant that when Kelsey strolled up to their desks to recruit them for a couples video, Ryan just shrugged and agreed.

He and Shane had been dating for upwards of eight months, and it wasn’t like either of them were too shy about it. Private, maybe, but not embarrassed. An easy video during their off season seemed like a good idea.

“Perfect!” Kelsey said with a smile. “Thanks so much, Ryan. I’ll have the details to you by tonight.”

“Cool. Thanks!”

Shane, in typical Shane fashion, had been a tad more skeptical. As Kelsey bounced off, he turned to his co-host/boyfriend/ghost hunting partner with a semi annoyed look.

“Why did you just agree to that? What makes you think I have any interest in participating in whatever harebrained scheme Kelsey has cooked up?”

Ryan was not at all surprised by this reaction. Shane had a tendency to think that some of his colleague’s ideas were, for lack of better phrasing; clickbaity, pandering, crap.

“C’mon, Shane.” Ryan scolded. “This is our job, y’know? You’re not gonna like everything we do, but you shouldn’t complain about it so much.”

Shane moaned in apparent agony, adjusting his headphones.

“It’s just—ugh! A couples video? Seriously, Ryan? How exploitative can you get?”

Ryan only snickered at his dramatics, rolling his eyes and not looking away from his computer screen.

“Exploitative?” He repeated teasingly. “C’mon, Shane. I thought I was supposed to be the conspiracy nut.”

Shane shook his head, choosing not to pursue an argument but clearly not pleased.

“Corporate greed is not a conspiracy, Ryan.” Was all he said. Ryan pretended not to hear.

The afternoon continued normally and, as promised, Kelsey had returned to their desks by seven that night with a big grin and lots of excitement.

“Alright, boys!” She said loudly, making her presence known and prompting Shane and Ryan to remove their headphones. “Are you ready to hear about this video?”

“Go ahead.” Ryan said, his tone as friendly as ever. Next to him, Shane nodded.

“Well, you two might not be eligible for this particular project after all,” Kelsey explained, “but that’s okay. We all know you’ve been working hard on Unsolved anyway.”

“We might not be eligible?” Ryan asked, confused. “What’s the problem?”

“Well...” Kelsey said, trailing off and looking amused

“I don’t like the sound of that.”

“Have you two ever sexted before?” Kelsey continued.

“Have we ever done what?” Shane interrupted.

Ryan was just as confused. Sexting? Jesus! He’d thought they would be doing something benign, like tasting the most romantic dinners as approved by buzzfeed readers, or describing the first time they met. Sexting, on the other hand, was another matter entirely.

“You want us to be in a video about sexting?” Ryan asked in disbelief.

“Yes, it’s a sequel! Couples Sext For The First Time, remember? The first video did great—and with you guys? 5 million views, easy! So...have you?”

“I-uh....have we?” Ryan stuttered, completely flustered by the question.

Shane was as cucumber cool as ever, crossing his arms with a knowing smirk.

“Why, Ryan,” He said teasingly, “I don’t believe we have.”

Kelsey let out a cheer, and Ryan turned a deeper shade of red. It made sense, when he thought about it, that this was something they hadn’t done before. In the time they’d been together, they were at each other’s sides almost constantly. Work filled up most of their time, and their desks were right next to each other.

“So you’ll do it?” Kelsey asked hopefully.

Ryan wasn’t so sure about that. He didn’t know how he felt about doing something so.....personal under the hot lights of a camera. Especially with his coworkers behind it.

“Of course we’ll do it!” Shane said.

Ryan snapped his head to the side, gawking at him. Had he seriously just thrown them under the bus like that?

“We will?” He asked, annoyed.

“Absolutely.” Shane said with a wink. “It’s our job, Ryan. You’re not gonna like everything we do, but you shouldn’t complain about it so much.”

And that’s how they ended up here, sitting back to back in a buzzfeed studio, poised to begin...sexting. Unbelievable.

“Do you want to go ahead and start us off, Shane?” Ashly said.

“I’d love to!” Shane replied, flashing the camera a wild smile.

Quickly, he typed out a text with his thumb. Ryan’s phone lit up with a message:

This is really stupid.

Ryan laughed out loud rather than responding via text, leaning his back into Shane.

“I want you all to know that Shane Madej just called you stupid.” He joked to the camera, causing the girls to laugh.

Shane dropped his jaw and exaggeratedly, eyes bugging out his head in a characteristically cartoonish manner.

“What? I did nothing of the sort!”

He contemplated whether to respond with a joke or an actual attempt at being sexy, and eventually decided on a combination between the two. Man, this was more stressful than Ryan had originally anticipated. Somewhat nervously, he clicked send on his text.

“Wo-oh!” Shane exclaimed, already oozing amusement. “It looks like I’ve received a text, and-well! If it isn’t my old friend Ryan Bergara!”

“Shut up and read it, Shane.” Ryan said with a laugh.

Shane cleared his throat dramatically and Ryan panicked, sticking an arm behind him and jabbing his boyfriend in the side.

“Not out loud, moron!” He said incredulously.

Shane raised his eyebrows, looking behind the camera for confirmation. The girls each gave a shrug, seeming indifferent.

“No one else did.” Kelsey mouthed simply.

“We aren’t reading them?” Shane asked, looking absolutely flabbergasted.

“Well-then-what? This is such a boring video! It’s just the two us sitting here, and what? Staring silently at our phones? Who wrote this?”

Ryan cackled at his ramblings but stopped when Shane took another breath, ready to speak again.

“‘I want to climb you like a tree.’” He announced matter of factly, reading from his screen.

Ryan felt his face heating up and he groaned, half wondering whether or not it would be appropriate to deck his boyfriend right about now. Behind him, Shane was gasping in feigned offense.

“Like a tree?” He asked. “Is that another tall joke? That’s pretty unprofessional of you, Ryan.”

Still recovering from the embarrassment of having his attempt at flirtation read aloud, Ryan just shook his head.

“Somehow I’m getting the feeling that you aren’t taking this very seriously.”

“Me? Not taking a Buzzfeed video seriously? Never!”

Even with his embarrassment, Ryan couldn’t help but laugh at that one. This whole situation was pretty goddamn ridiculous.

“Why don’t you give it a try, Shane?” Ashly prodded him.

Shane appeared to think it over, scratching at his chin. Ryan rolled his eyes at the display.

“Hurry it up, Big Guy.” He said with gentle annoyance. “Some of us have places to be.”

“You can’t rush a masterpiece, Bergara.”

Shane hunched over his phone, using both thumbs to type out a message that Ryan could only assume was absurd. There was no way Shane would actually be trying to seduce him on camera.

Ding. Shane’s contact name appeared at the top of his screen.

“What was that, Ryan?” Shane asked, widening his eyes. “Did you just receive a text, perhaps?”

“How’d you know?” Ryan asked with a chuckle.

He tapped the messages app, nervous curiosity bubbling in his stomach. His eyes scanned the text from Shane, and suddenly it felt as though his whole body was on fire.

_I kind of want to nail you against that wall right now._

“Uh...um.” Ryan replied out loud, chuckling nervously. “Um...wow. Okay.”

“Do you need some clarification on that one, Ryan?” Shane asked. “I understand. The nuance of my words can be complicated sometimes.”

Before he could reply with some deprecatingly dry remark about Shane’s wit, another message popped up on Ryan’s screen.

Nail you in a sex way. Not a violent way. It can be confusing, I know.

“Holy shit.” Ryan said, sputtering with laughter.

He turned to look into the camera’s lens with an amused smile.

“I’m not going to read this because it’s rated R, but our boy Shane here is an idiot.”

“Rated R?” Shane said skeptically. “Would you relax? That was barely PG-13. You’re just too sensitive!”

“Too sensitive? Fuck you! If either of us is sensitive-“

Ryan was cut off by another ding from his phone. Evidently, Shane had been working on another text while he was talking.

Ryan opened the message, curious.

_Speaking of sensitive, I’m thinking about how you squirm when my fingers graze your inner thighs. You’re pretty sensitive there, huh?_

If Ryan had felt hot before, now he was actually on fire. Sodder children style. He imagined Shane’s mouth on his, their jeans grinding together, and the sounds Shane made when he—

“Jesus, Shane!” He exclaimed.

“What?” Shane said, playing innocent. “You okay, babe? You look a little warm.”

Ryan just hid his face in his hands, focusing on the laughter in his ears from around the room. Maybe next time he’d think twice before agreeing to do a video for Kelsey. 

 


End file.
